grief – Not This Ending.

103 days. I blame myself.

103 days. As if it has been 103 days. 103 days since we spoke. Fuck this is hard. I think I am still overcome with shock. I absolutely blame myself for all of this. Everything. And that’s just how I am dealing with things right now. Guilt and blame, I am told, are normal ‘stages’Continue reading “103 days. I blame myself.”

I think I’m going crazy

I find that I often write ‘to’ Liam, rather than about him. And that the focus is largely about me and how I feel. But actually, that’s all there is in me at the minute. Just me and my thoughts. I find I have little space for anything or anyone else. The thoughts are justContinue reading “I think I’m going crazy”

How did it come to this?

I always fancied myself a bit of a writer. But not like this. Maybe a writer of children’s stories like the ones I would sit and make up with the kids. Never ever did I imagine it would be like this. On March 21st 2021, my world crumbled. Everything I knew, or thought I knew,Continue reading “How did it come to this?”