As if today is ‘national bereaved mothers’ day, where people should be able to share their stories without feeling judged, in a society that doesn’t want to hear it. There’s so much wrong in how we treat parents who have lost children, like it’s something they will ever get over. What utter bollocks. For most parents, they spend the majority of their day thinking about their children, how they would like something they see, how they might find this funny, everything is about your child. Do people think this thought process comes to an abrupt end when your child dies? That you no longer see food in the supermarket they might like or do something they would find funny? That they don’t think of a million things they want to share with them or show them? Because this is all they still think about. Their child, all the time. Except instead of picking up something they might like or telling them something funny, they can’t anymore. So instead they become consumed with the devastating anguish over and over throughout their painful existence. It doesn’t stop, not ever. What kind of person would think that would ever get any easier? People stop getting in touch with parents because they don’t want to know how they feel anymore and that’s what’s not right, expecting it to become more manageable, it’s societies response that isn’t normal. Not the parent who is overcome with a whole host of damaging emotions and who is drowning in a tsunami of crippling thoughts. For eternity.
We don’t accept anything that makes us feel uncomfortable. Just send a ‘thinking of if you’ message for our own self gratification and go hug our kids. And wonder when this grieving parent will be over the worst. It’s all the fucking worst from that point on. No one should need a special day to talk about their child. That ridiculously special human being that you made, that you grew inside of you, that you had so many dreams and hopes for, that brightened up your world and gave you a reason to love and live. That person who had so much left to do on this earth and who’s leaving was like bomb being dropped into every area of your lives, tearing everything to shreds and ruining what once was. And society thinks we should have a day to talk about this?
Jesus.
42 days today.
The devastation is unimaginable and irreparable. Parents don’t want to even live after this. They are torn between the people who are living and desperately wanting this torture to end. Yet society seems to think there is an acceptable way to behave after something like this, they avoid it, don’t know what to say so don’t say anything, pretending it isn’t there. Like the words ‘suicide’ and ‘mental health’, it’s like they’re dirty words. Even the professionals haven’t got a clue. I hate that I have been catapulted into this hell but it’s like a different world. Like a hidden, underground world that you can’t even imagine.
Why something that happens every minute of the day isn’t more widely talked about makes no sense. Nothing really makes sense anymore. But society and their response to anything like this makes no sense at all. You’d think that any other parent on the planet could empathise, I think I could. Obviously you don’t know until you know but the ignorance of some people is unforgivable.
Happy National bereaved Mother’s Day apparently. Fuck you.
Not This Ending. 